NEWSFLASH!

[nickjones]

I was down at the beach at 8pm to witness nature at its worst, got back and the BBC said it was due at 1.00 am now. more news to follow soon..........

[GHOSTHUNTER]

I was down at the beach at 8pm to witness nature at its worst, got back and the BBC said it was due at 1.00 am now. more news to follow soon..........

EXCLUSIVE FIRST HAND NEWS FROM OUR ON-SITE STAFF REPORTER, DOWN ON THE EAST COAST, THANK'S NICK, CAN YOU RUSH BACK TO THE OFFICE, I WANT A FULL REPORT ON MY DESK FOR THE EARLY EDITIONS...CHEERS.

[matchbox360]

From Kenny Ken, Staff Reporter, VBD Times:
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The worst storm surge to hit the east coast of England in over 50 years has left an aftermath of flooded streets and basements. In parts of the Norfolk coast, the surge breached the seawall by over 5 feet, breaking past records. Here's hoping the coastal residents manage to overcome this ordeal and that things return quickly to normal.

Reports are coming in of a huge male walrus stranded on a seaside rooftop. Carried in towards land on the massive tsunami-like tide, it was deposited unceremoniously on the roof after the waters receded. As it clings to the chimney for dear life, rescuers who've arrived at the scene ponder on how to bring the tusked behemoth safely to the ground.

Over to our Editor-in-Chief, Ghosty..

Cheers, Ken

[GHOSTHUNTER]

Thank's Kenny Ken.

Yes, that's a tricky one, one that is sure to test the rescuers and our friends down at the local Zoo.

One expert says they might be able to coax him down with a Female Walrus, but they tend to have bad eyesight, so the Female would have to be put on the roof of the opposite building, so they are at the same height........eight hours later, we now have a Male and Female Walrus, stuck up on two different roofs.

One idea is to airlift him off with hundreds of party balloons, but a planned birthday party a few streets away, means all the balloons have been made into balloon models like windmills and dacshund dogs!

What they are trying to do now, is lower the building and the surrounding area and wait for the tide to come back in, so he can just swim away...with his girlfriend!!!

Now, the Weather.

[johnboy]

Breaking news....despite the glare of the paparazzi, during nightfall the walruses secretly made their way down the fire escape ladders dressed as janitors. Sometime later they were spotted coming out of the seafront pub and a local policeman gave chase, but in a gesture of defiance the walruses stuck up their flippers and disappeared speedily towards the town centre. They haven't been spotted for some hours despite the efforts of the search teams. We'll be back with an update soon.

Now, the business news

[fixer]

hi have I missed anything been to a fancy dress party as a walrus and got chased round the town centre by some fat bird

[motorman]

hi have I missed anything been to a fancy dress party as a walrus and got chased round the town centre by some fat bird

Reg, Surely you are not suggesting Nick dressed up as a fat Bird????

[motorman]

My ex wife was a fat bird as it happens!!!!!

[matchbox360]

Breaking news!!!
From Kenny Ken, Staff Reporter:
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Much to the relief of the townspeople (and the house owner on whose roof it perched), the walrus was finally brought down using a crane and sling, bundled into a nearby cattle truck and taken to Whipsnade Zoo, where, in the company of a very fetching female walrus, it's said to be recuperating nicely.

Here's a pic taken by a bystander at the scene:


Zoo officials say that after a brief 'honeymoon' period, both walruses will be released back into the ocean, to make their way to their natural habitat. Here's wishing them a safe and comfortable journey!

Ken

[mike]

Very funny Ken.
Not only Santa comes down the chimney.