NEWSFLASH!

[GHOSTHUNTER]

The "VBD Times" is receiving details of a plan to invite back last week's stranded Walrus. The local residents of Collectorsville, just south of the river Thames, are planning to bring back the Walrus to stand in as Santa Clause, for the local school's Santa's Grotto. A spokesperson for the Action Group set up for the project, says..."We were impressed by the way the Walrus handled the rather tricky situation he found himself in last week and felt he would make a good Santa".

A spokesperson for the Walrus has said..."He will do it for the kiddies, providing there are no high chimneys or lots of water involved, he does not like either".

And now todays weather.

[matchbox360]

lol, thanks for joining in guys, I'm sure "Wally the Walrus" appreciates your kind thoughts!

Being a Staff Reporter for the VBD Times is no picnic, our Editor-in-Chief is a strict taskmaster, although fair and humorous. Anyway, it's nothing that a few pints at the end of the day can't fix!!

And now, for the sports news..

cheers, Ken

[GHOSTHUNTER]

We receive a lot of private letters here at the VBD Times and one arrived on my desk this morning that may have ramifications throughout the model car world.
Several residents are concerned of the recent very early closing times of their local model car shop in Collectorsville (just south of the river Thames) and when questioned about this, the owner of the shop, a collector himself, said..."Well, I used to keep a good stock of leisure vehicles like model Caravans and Campers, especially one made by Matchbox, based on a VW Camper van, being very realistic with lots of fine detail, even down to a petrol filler cap, and then all of a sudden, they went, I can not get any more, so my stock is non existant, I have to close early once I've opened my mail and go back home"...

After much investigating and asking lots of Policmen, what is going on?, we found out that a tiny enclave in Scotland is stockpiling these models, hoping to make a right killing, by selling them at three figure sums of money!

Well, good luck to the lucky owner if he gets away with this, but we understand his premises are being watched day and night, awaitng a sighting of this man and when he makes an appearance, the Police want to feel his Collar.

Now, some sports news.

[johnboy]

Just in.....We've received a rather poor cctv image of the suspect and the Police are advising the public not to approach this man and to contact them immediately if he is sighted. Apparently they've drafted in a computer specialist from Bulgaria to enhance the pixelated image in the hope that the perpetrator can be identified and apprehended quickly before more VW's Campers (with the fuel filler cap) go missing.

Now over to the city desk....

[motorman]

F**cks sake that guy looks a right twat!!!

[GHOSTHUNTER]

Yeah, pretty scarey, we have been advised to remove the image from our early morning issues, its surprising how many of our Child readers carry on looking through the paper, at all the other subjects. It will still be in the late issues, but we have added a serious warning caption and advise readers to view at their discretion and not to take the paper out of the house or leave it lying around open at that page.

Now, the weather.

[GHOSTHUNTER]

BREAKING NEWS...A stalker has been spotted doing the local toy fairs in Brentwood, (just south of the River Thames), the Police have been told of how one attractive blond female was approached by the suspect, as she was looking at some model cars on one dealers table. OK, she was wearing a short skirt, high knee-length boots with long flowing natural blond hair, but she was led to believe all collectors dressed like that at toy fairs, anyway, that does not allow strangers to make advances.

In a statement she gave to the police, she says he was pretending to be bent over the same table, looking at models, but was more interested in me, I pretended not to notice him, but when I moved on to the next table, he was there as well!

The Police say they have a description of the suspect, but sadly, no one managed to take a photo. He is a stocky feller, in jeans and tea-shirt, carrying a carrier bag, contents of which they don't know, but believe the contents to be rather unsavory. He was not wearing glasses, had no facial hair like a beard or anything and was balding.

He did not seem to be with anyone else, so we don't know his name, although this may be important, when a member of the public called to a friend and shouted..."Hey Nick, it's me"...the suspect turned around quickly and acknowledged him.

Brentwood tonight is cordoned off and the Police have classed the situation a state of emergency.

This predator must be caught at all costs and he must learn that toy fairs are not the place for casual stalking, under the pretense of being a model car collector.

Now, some sports news.

[motorman]

The dirty B*****d!!!!!

[Idris]

It's worse than you think! This Forum is turning into a swirling cesspool of filth. (Anyone else listen to Alex Lester?) We're now discussing 50 shades of grey elsewhere!

[motorman]

Superb Hugh,

I just love the subtle connection!!!