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Malibu wrote:A woman with her baby in the arms steps into a bus.
The busdriver says to here: “This is the ugliest baby I have ever seen”.
The woman went very angry to the back of the bus and sat down next to a man.
The man asked: “Why are you this angry”.
“The busdriver has been very unkind to me” she replied.
The man replied: “Why don’t you go and complain by the driver, meanwhile I will take care of your little monkey”.

toysnz wrote:I was on google.com but google is smart enough to pick up your location and therefore presented me with a map of NZ rather than the UK when I went to input the required search.. adding UK or Great Britain still did not get me UK results... Ian

OK. In the UK it pins White Hart lane in Tottenham London, The Spurs FC ground.

nickjones wrote:

toysnz wrote:I was on google.com but google is smart enough to pick up your location and therefore presented me with a map of NZ rather than the UK when I went to input the required search.. adding UK or Great Britain still did not get me UK results... Ian

OK. In the UK it pins White Hart lane in Tottenham London, The Spurs FC ground.

mike wrote:..... and we Austrians have Conchita Wurst.

Yeah, but don't you wish you did not have her him it?.
Nice shaved armpits but missed chin, must try harder.

A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring.

He replies: 'I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you.'

She answers, 'My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.'

'Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.'

She responds, 'Well, let's see what we can do about that:

#1, you have to be single, and #2, you must be Catholic.'

The cab driver is very excited and says, 'Yes, I'm single and Catholic!

"OK' the nun says. 'Pull into the next alley.'

The nun fulfills his fantasy, with a kiss that would make a hooker blush.

But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

'My dear child,' says the nun, 'why are you crying?'

'Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must Confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish.'

The nun says, 'That's OK.........my name is George and I'm going to a Halloween Party

Ghosty.

a nun is having a bath when there's a knock on the door
who is it , she asked
the blind man , came the reply
ok you can come in , she said
as he did he remarked , nice tits where do you want the blind

Mother Superior calls a convent meeting and announces 'We have a case of gonorrhoea in the convent!'.
"Praise be to God" says one nun. "I was getting fed up with Chardonnay".

A broken-hearted man who caught his wife being unfaithful visited the pub quite often recently after his wife came home from work.He was a pain in the butt after a good few scotches with not remembering where he lived and with asking for a lift home long before the pub closes and well before the attendant finished work.
Early last night the pub-attendant alerted the man that his house was on fire and that the fire brigade had just arrived.
Paralytic drunk as usual,his response was just before storming out "Im gonna kill those firemen".
numi

Sign seen in a Hobart shop window:
"Drunken people, little children and leggings always tell the truth"