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Hello Kevin, my sincere sympathy on the passing of your father I lost my mother nine years ago but her idiosyncrasy ways are still there when I have a peaceful and thoughtful moment to myself.

I am sure it will be the same for you.

George T.

Thank you George.

Yes, as soon as I have a quiet moment , the thoughts start to happen, giving me moments of total breakdown with feelings of guilt that I should have or could have done more for Him.

One of the biggest problems I face out of all this, is the fact he is no longer around and until a Death takes place to such a close member of your own Family it is something that while you see it happening, it seems to be happening to other people. It has left so many questions un-answered and thrown up many new questions, like why has this happened!

I have managed to start posting again on the forum, a move that is helping me to focus, plus I know Dad would want me to carry on with this aspect of my hobby.

Kevin.

For the past Week, my Mum has not been too good and this evening I hear my Brother (who with his Wife have come back into the Family after walking away from us many, many Years ago), has phoned for the Paramedics to attend and they have arranged for her to be taken into Hospital.

She is currently in A & E in Aylesbury.

Kevin.

Oh my! When it rains it pours!

Kev,

I'm not one to wear my emotions on my sleeve and I seldom talk about things like this issue. My mother and father have also passed. My father had Emphysema and a heart condition for many years, he had a stroke and passed within two months after that. When he was moved from the hospital into a nursing home, he told the doctors he no longer wanted any medication of any kind. He passed quietly in his sleep, which is the way he wanted to go. His decision not to prolong his illness until a bitter end was a compassionate and brave decision (on many levels). Like so many of his generation, he was an extraordinary man right to the end.

I'll spend the rest of my life trying to measure up. My conclusion is that if I have to be measured and weighed by his scale, that I will be found wanting. On the other hand, I know I've worked hard to be my own person and I try to make selfless decisions so that my family is loved and cared for in a way that won't cause me regrets. It's a job, a task that one has to do right up to the end. Despite everything my father did and planned for, I'm sure he had regrets of his own. When the clock is ticking down, that's all we seem to be able to focus upon and the big picture somehow gets ignored.

If I could say something short and simple to help you through this time and possibly ease your regrets, it would be this: Focus on the big picture, a life well lived and loved. Celebrate the life of your father and embrace all the work he put into making you the good man you are today.

Missing loved ones who've passed is always tough. The memories you have and the stories you share will keep him always with you. They say we die twice, first time is when the last breath leaves our lips and second when the last person speaks our name.

Wishing the best for your Mum!

Thinking of you Kevin
Gary.

My Sister in-law phoned me earlier this evening (Mon 23rd Jan) and asked if I could get to the Hospital, Mum has to have an emergency operation which could leave Her in a vegetable state, severely disabled or even kill Her!

I have not even got over losing my Dad and now this happens...WHY!!!

Words fail me Kev, I'm just so sorry. I'm thinking about you.

johnboy wrote:Words fail me Kev, I'm just so sorry. I'm thinking about you.

Thank you John.

Words fail me, I now definitely don't know what's going on and why my World is being ripped apart!!

Kevin.

Keep strong Kevin. Thinking of you at this difficult time.